Were we Born Good? Are Children Good Enough to Enter Heaven?

At school,  children may be told that they are good or great, and self esteem, at least in The States, is considered more important than actual achievement. Kids are given trophies for participating in a sport, and sports and after school activities so often dominate life that it is hard to find time to actually teach our children that according to Jesus, they are not good enough. If we are parents, surely we are aware that our children were not born perfect and unless we give in to them at every turn they will remind us of their self centered rights.

Are Adults Good enough to Enter Heaven?

Adults may be better at disguising their imperfections, calling materialism “caring for the family” and manipulative office politics as “healthy ambition”, but we, like our children, fall far short of being good enough to enter Heaven. All of us desperately need a Savior, and His name is Jesus.

We all need Salvation from Eternal Death

Jesus means “the Lord is salvation”. That is what Jesus achieved on the first Good Friday: our salvation from eternal death.  He is the Lord God and He came to the earth as a human to grow up to be punished, receiving the punishment that we all deserve. In his letter to the Romans, Paul wrote: …”the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)

Jesus offers us the Gift of Eternal Life

Only God can give us the gift of eternal life that He invites us to receive. Jesus willingly died on the cross in our place. He understood that our sin (being self centered rather than being focused on pleasing God and living for Him) would lead to fatal consequences. Paul explains Jesus’ s amazing sacrifice in Romans 5: 6 : “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

We will never deserve God’s love. Even if we are not materialistic and even though we may help old ladies cross the road etc, etc…we can never be good enough to go to Heaven and to live with Jesus forever. Compared to God we are bad and we all desperately need Him. Unless Jesus deals with our bad attitudes and behavior we cannot expect to go to Heaven. If some how we arrived in Heaven with our selfish motives intact, our sin would pollute Heaven. No, we can’t arrive in that perfect place unless God intervenes and dramatically changes us. We need a heart transplant.

How should we respond to Jesus?

If you are a Christian I would like to encourage you to thank Jesus for what He suffered on Good Friday to rescue you from Hell.

If you are not yet a follower of Jesus, I would like to encourage you to consider how much Jesus loves you. Look beyond the cultural lie that persuades us that every type of life style is good, even if it totally contradicts the teaching of Jesus. Take a reality check and realize that even though you try to be good you can never earn your way into Heaven and neither can I.

If you have given up trying: good. Admit that you need Jesus’s help. Tell Him that you are sorry that you have ignored Him for so long and ask Him to forgive you, wash you clean and fill you with His love and power: the Holy Spirit (Himself). Jesus can turn your life around right now, filling you with His love that will enable you to love God and others: giving you a new heart. Don’t miss the opportunity to receive the most important gift.

What will you do with the Gift that Jesus Offers?

Let’s not rely on our goodness to enter Heaven one day. Instead let’s admit that we are by nature bad and we desperately need to depend on the wonderful gift that Jesus secured for us when He demonstrated His goodness,  dying for us on the cross. We need to humbly receive that gift and not assume that we already have it, or to dismiss it as unnecessary. Without the intervention of Jesus, none of us will ever be good enough to go to Heaven. Only He is good enough. Aren’t we privileged to have Jesus as our Savior?

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Are we Good Enough to Enter Heaven?

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Perhaps the changes are partly driven by the spluttering economy. Most Americans actually celebrate Christmas and it makes good marketing sense to target this huge national festival with its proper name to encourage more present buying. Whether the tiny minority of atheists like it or not, the vast majority of their compatriots still consider Christmas Day special and celebrate it.

While I was cooking some food for a Christmas Eve party, I was half watching the movie “The Grinch who Stole Christmas.”  Alice and Martyn were really watching the DVD but I was doing the usual multi-task viewing.

After the Grinch stole the people’s presents he was expecting them to moan and wail but instead the little girl took them to a higher level and they sang happily, celebrating Christmas despite the absence of presents. When the Grinch saw that their Christmas was not reliant on what could be bought in the store, his heart trebled in size and he became a transformed creature!

My youngest still strongly connects Christmas with acquiring the must-haves of teenage living. Materialism is a negative aspect of Christmas and I can see how the Christmas cheer in Whoville after the disappearance of the gifts was a wonderful tribute to their focus on more important aspects of Christmas.

Finally the ‘Whos’ ended their rivalry over which family had the best Christmas lights. Community unity in the face of a common enemy is precious. We will not encounter the threats of the Grinch this Christmas unless we choose to be entertained by him.  However we should remember that we need our family and friends and we will be happiest when we strive to keep the peace and enjoy and encourage one another. The quality of the food or the presents should not be the dominating features of Christmas.

To focus on what is important, we need to put the Christ (Jesus) back in Christmas. Only He can help us choose the right priorities and enable us to love our families even when they are materialistic, and unhelpful. As Christmas is the celebration of His birth it would make sense for us to make some time for Jesus. The beginning of the books of Luke and Matthew tell us more of Jesus’ birth. Reading these verses on Christmas will help us keep the right focus.

Merry Christmas!

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A ‘Who’ Christmas

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The home that I grew up in was a place of vibrant discussion and opinion, and we enjoyed the debate. Although we tried to disagree, our culture was the same and our thoughts were more united than we liked to admit! Now that I am living in California, I have gradually merged my British views and culture with an American mindset. I am the one who has changed the most and we agree on less than we used to.

I have moved continents and may have changed more than many other women of my age. However, anyone who has changed location, or become a wife and mother is in a different relationship with parents than when she was a child growing up. Rather than airing personal reflections on this challenge, it is more valuable to consider a few wise words from the Bible on this subject.

In Genesis 2: 24 we are taught that marriage between a man and a woman requires the couple to leave their parents and to join together as one: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and become one flesh.”

The words “leave” and “join” are significant. Leaving the protection and culture of the family nest can be hard, especially for the woman who values love and security. Adjusting to being married requires huge adjustments in roles and priorities, and refusing to emotionally or physically leave the parents can threaten the marriage. When we are married we are different from before. We must embrace the inevitable changes and join together with our husband to form a new family unit.

Does this changed relationship mean that we can disassociate from our parents? Not at all. The ten commandments teach us to honor our parents. Children are expected to obey their parents but this no longer applies to adult children. Marriage results in the woman being under the authority and protection of her husband rather than her parents, but the special honor that we should show our parents should continue to characterize our lives.

Sadly honor is a word that is rarely used today. It combines love, respect, looking up to, valuing highly….  In our culture there is little evidence of honor unless we count idolizing the rich and famous. Honoring parents should not depend on their status, political views, or health. It should not depend on whether we agree with them. It is a response of thankfulness and love. For some grown up “kids” honoring parents must be a difficult challenge if they grew up in dangerous and threatening homes. Only Jesus can create a forgiving and honoring response to parents who inflicted pain on their kids through neglect or abuse as they grew up.

My parents gave me love, security and fun. They invested hugely in my life. I am very thankful. The intense times of re-uniting from half way round the globe are no excuse. My role is to honor, to serve, to bless and to respect. I do not have to obey or to surrender to their opinions but I need to listen to them, to learn and to value them rather than to proudly defend my rights.  I do not have to prove my worth or win an argument. I should not sulk or withdraw.

In my family, we all follow the same God. Jesus is the one who can change the heart of the overgrown child to reflect His love and peace. If you are tempted to dishonor or to withdraw from relatives this Christmas, please learn from my mistakes and let Jesus transform your heart and tongue. I enjoyed spending time with my parents, but if I had responded to the words that I have written here, it would have been even better.

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Adult Children’s Relationships with their Parents – a Christian Response

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What we say and how we say it makes an important first impression, and I certainly appreciate the pleasantries offered here. However, it is frustrating when people do not go beyond saying friendly but empty words. In both the US and the UK when people ask you “How are you” they generally expect you to say “I’m fine.” The reality is that everyone is not fine and a reluctance to hear or to tell the truth means that many people do not receive the practical help, the prayers, the challenge or the encouragement that they need. It is important that we have friends who we can trust and from whom we can seek advice and expect an honest answer. There are times when we need to stand up and say that something is wrong because avoiding conflict, for the sake of smiling relationships, can lead to trouble and pain in the future.

In our home I tend to fluctuate between turning a blind eye to issues or over reacting. Yesterday I felt that I needed to react as my kids were watching “The Office” and there was some vulgar humor which I did not want in our home. James explained that this was mild compared to some of the jokes that his friends shared, and how could he talk about “The Office” the next day at school if he could not watch it. He also added that his friends were much better than most of the other teenagers at high school. They seem great kids. They are interested in hearing Bible talks at our home every Friday, but I knew that I needed to challenge my son regarding God’s perspective. I am pleased that I persisted and talked to him about how being a Christian does affect humor, attitudes and our thoughts and words.

I have written in other blog posts about the importance of Christians teaching the Bible to their children. What I should add is that when a sweet, ‘little darling’ grows to become 6ft 4″ it is not always easy to sit him down for a Bible “story”. Instead there are moments that become important teaching opportunities. This is also true with friends.

As a Christian mother encouraging her children to follow Jesus, I wanted James to understand that we should not be preoccupied with fitting in to please our friends. If we are God’s children we must be different and speak what is good, and avoid listening or contributing to what is rude and distasteful. The WWJD or “What would Jesus do” wrist bands are of some value if they encourage the wearer to consider whether Jesus would approve or join in an activity.

It would help if I always knew exactly where to turn in the Bible to show God’s perspective. Yesterday I struggled to know where to turn but thankfully God took control and I turned to 1 Peter 4 and I read verses 1-11. Alice, my daughter, would have wriggled away but James knew that he needed to hear God’s word and he listened and then curled up and prayed.

I want to share the following verses that were particularly relevant to our discussion:

“So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer too.” (verse 1) In short, life is on a much deeper level for a Christian than pleasing ourselves, and it will involve suffering. Christ is our role model, (and our Savior) and we should seek to please him.

“You won’t spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God. You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy-their immorality and lust….” (verses 2-3 ) This is a call to be different, to put off the old sinful life and to be a new creation in Jesus.

‘”Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the wild and destructive things they do. So they slander you. But remember that they will have to face God, who will judge everyone, both the living and the dead.” (verses 4-5) Avoiding participating in vulgar jokes, and standing up for what is godly, will result in opposition but we must be more concerned about pleasing God. A changed life will show friends something about Jesus. Some will believe and change too, others will laugh at us.

The final verse that seemed so helpful was 1 Peter 4: 11: ” Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you.” James is aware that he has this gift and the challenge was appropriate. We can do a lot of damage with our words but we can choose to speak in a godly way and make a positive impact.

These verses are from the New Living Translation in a New Testament entitled “How to Find God” . The sub title is “Living Water for Those Who Thirst.” It is intended for new Christians or not yet Christians and the commentary can be helpful. This is what is written next to the verses in the first book of Peter that I read to James: ” One thing that should certainly change when we come to Christ is the way we talk. If we continue using God’s name in vain or keep telling dirty jokes, something is not right. Proverbs 8:13 says, “All who fear the Lord will hate evil.” That includes vulgar speech. But when we become indifferent to the way we speak (or the way others speak around us), we are downplaying the destructiveness of sin and doing a disservice to the Lord.” This added further insight and the timing was perfect!

God will give us the wisdom to know when we need to react, using His words. We must do this gently, but we must not avoid encouraging others to learn from God’s truth (especially our children). James is a good role model to his friends, but it is clear that Jesus wants him to go to the next level in his relationship with God and with others. We are not alone when we seek to help people learn God’s will by teaching the Bible. God cares more about our kids and our friends than we do. I hope that I have made it clear how Jesus showed me, an ordinary Christian mother, how to speak His words to my child. He will help you too as you encourage others to follow Him.

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Challenge others with God’s truth

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As a Christian I am concerned about the exclusion of Christianity in public schools. Like technology, if kids are not familiar with the Bible, they are likely to avoid it. If school shuns Christianity, where they spend most of their time, inevitably many will not consider picking up a Bible and reading it. If students are taught evolution as fact rather than as a theory, it is confusing to read the first few chapters of the Bible where it is taught that God created the world. Unless parents and churches teach the Biblical world view conscientiously school kids will assume that science contradicts faith.

I am not expecting public schools to exclusively teach a Biblical world view. However, the avoidance of any mention of God will have more serious consequences than failing to teach appropriate technology. The latter will cause us to potentially lag behind international competitors. Avoiding Jesus is resulting in many being ignorant of the meaning of life. We have been created by an all powerful, loving God, for a significant purpose. We are not a higher form of animal with instincts that need to be satisfied. We are made in God’s image to live godly lives responsibly reaching out in love to help others and to serve God. Sex education at school may suggest that satisfying our instincts is fine with appropriate protection. Christians need to teach a different message.

I appreciate that it is unlikely that schools will reintroduce the Bible and return to a pre-1960′s educational mind set. However, in my opinion good education should involve kids investigating different perspectives and opinions. Evolution should be taught as one approach and creation as another. In the same way that a biology teacher teaches evolutionary theory, it would be great if a Bible teacher could present the Christian world view. No one should be forced to believe, but good education requires an understanding of different perspectives. George Washington’s speeches should be read and discussed and his Christian perspective should not be eradicated by text book writers. Even if Christianity is not promoted, the kids should at least be encouraged to respect it and to understand how faith shaped American values and the constitution. Parents need to tell their kids about how Christians shaped this nation.

My husband could have made sure that all of our children were technically proficient making up for the inconsistent approach to technology at school. He chose not to push them to learn as they were already busy with homework and activities. It is easy to avoid making our children learn useful skills when they show little interest and start complaining. This is a greater problem when our children are not interested in finding out about Jesus. It is easier to leave them to sleep on Sunday mornings rather than take them to church against their will. Helping children to complete homework is bad enough but we may feel that encouraging them to read the Bible is yet one more battle. However if schools are no longer teaching about Jesus it is essential that we persevere.

I believe that despite our kids’ attitudes we must teach them about Jesus from the Bible and take them to church or to a meeting where they will learn from the Bible. My family is aware that many kids are not familiar with the Bible or church. Consequently we have been providing opportunities for our son James to ask his friends to come to our home to eat, play sports, “hang out” and to read the Bible. He invites lots of friends on Facebook and those who are interested come along. There is no pressure. They can walk from school in less than ten minutes. Most of the 8-12 kids who come have no church background but they are in a safe, comfortable place to ask questions. This has also boosted James’ faith. If it was not for him noone would come, and as a junior at high school he is learning the joy and the challenge of following Jesus. He is realizing that following is an active response and he is moving beyond just sitting and listening.

Jesus, in John 7:37 “cried in a loud voice, ‘if any man is thirsty, let him come to me and drink!’ ” We know that a drink is more vital than anything else. Are we receiving what we need from Jesus? Are we offering Him to others knowing that without Him they are spiritually thirsty and in great need? Encouraging kids to discover Jesus is not adding an extra burden to pressurized lives. We need to demonstrate that Jesus deals with our worries, refreshes us and loves us. He is not an extra activity but He is what life is all about and he offers life to the full. Kids are not hearing this at school, so we need to make sure that they are being offered the drink that Jesus offers. They may refuse to receive it now, but we can pray and we can offer opportunities for kids to find out more about Jesus.

As Christian women we can make a difference. If you are not yet a Christian Jesus will satisfy your thirst. Keep finding out about Him.

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Biblical illiteracy

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People are inclined to forget that they are also vulnerable especially when they are behind the wheel of a strong looking car or sporting varsity football gear or a very impressive suit. There is a tendency to baby young kids, driving them everywhere and allowing them little freedom, until suddenly they are able to drive and their freedom apparently has few limits. As my two oldest kids are 18 and nearly 16, I am well aware of the potential hazards in and beyond the car. It seems that we need to train kids not only to drive well but to make good decisions. Once they can take passengers in the car, freedom is rather open ended. Arriving at a dance in a well cut suit or a beautiful dress at fifteen, must also be accompanied by a strong sense of right and wrong to ensure that the evening does not end in trouble. There are so many potential hazards.

Parents may spend many hours helping their kids learn to drive or investing money in various lessons to ensure that their children are accomplished in sports, music or ready to do well in the SAT test. However, I am not so sure that the same investment is always made to help them develop a good, responsible attitude. In my opinion, it cannot be assumed that either we or our kids can develop a godly response to life without help. According to the Bible, we are naturally inclined to make the wrong decisions. Ecclesiastes 7:20 illustrates this: “For there is not a just man on earth who does good and does not sin.”

If we are honest, we are all capable of thinking, saying and doing terrible things. Of course we need to protect girls and kids especially, from human predators but we also need to learn how to avoid foolish decisions that lead to awful consequences. This is particularly true for teenagers who are experiencing driving and dances for the first time, but it is also true for people of every age. We are generally careful to protect young, innocent children as we are more aware than animals that they are vulnerable. However, as they grow up do we train children to become aware of God’s wisdom that can help them make the right choices? As adults do we know and follow Biblical wisdom as we deal with life’s challenges? If we do not, how can we expect our kids or less mature people to take Jesus seriously?

We cannot be truly wise unless we submit our lives to Jesus, seek His mercy and forgiveness and study and follow Biblical truth. Proverbs 2:6 explains that “the Lord gives wisdom, and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.” We are well advised to seek these great qualities and we can find out about them in God’s Word, the Bible. The book of Proverbs is filled with wise, godly advice. It is very clear that there are two paths: one is following God’s lead, obeying His commandments and willingly living life with His help. The other path is the alternative, turning our backs on God and living our lives with no reference to Him. God calls out to us to turn and follow Him. He does not want any of us to walk away from His love, His guidance and His forgiveness.

The words in Proverbs are insistent that we should “Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well for it is your life. Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way.” (Proverbs 4: 13-15). The Bible teaches about temptation, good, evil and the amazing love of Jesus who can forgive us even when we have wandered down the wrong path. I hear people say that they have not got time to read the Bible, but I would argue that we do not have time to ignore God’s Word. Despite our age, our abilities or our wealth, without God we are defenseless. We must not only teach children the right way to go but we must also pay attention ourselves. We can only be changed from being hopelessly bad to become righteous when God takes hold of our lives, and these words express the beautiful potential of transformed lives: “The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.” The next sentence is a reminder that we should avoid the alternative path: “But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.” (Proverbs 4:18-19)

In John chapter 8 verse 12 Jesus proclaims,”I am the light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the Light of life.” Are you following Jesus? If you feel that you are struggling in the darkness, call out to Him, seek Him and humbly follow Him. Without Jesus we are in great danger, but with Him we are in a very safe place. He is waiting for you, reaching out like a shepherd rescuing a small lamb lost in a dark cave. All of us are lost until we respond to Jesus. Reach out to Him and thank Him for His compassion and His mission to seek and to save the lost. He can transform your life.

God is calling Christian women to respond: Help others to seek God’s protection.

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Seek God’s protection

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I struggle to simply follow the published curriculum or program. My teacher training in England encouraged us to develop our own teaching materials and games and I am very grateful that I could apply this approach to teaching the Bible to kids. It is too easy to read something about the Bible to the kids, rather than getting into the Bible itself. There are lots of enjoyable teaching methods that can help the kids have fun while learning, without distracting from the message. I am not suggesting that everyone should abandon teaching aids or curriculum. Rather, if we are teaching the Bible to anyone we should ensure that the curriculum is Biblical and that we do not rely on the program rather than the Word of God.

Adults are capable of listening to a sermon and leaving with a confused picture of the truth. It is even more likely that children jump to inaccurate conclusions. For example, if we refer to Bible “stories” they may assume that David and Goliath and the feeding of the five thousand are works of fiction. It is tempting to teach certain episodes over and over again but to avoid teaching doctrine. Children need to know that they were born sinful and cannot earn their salvation. They must be taught that we deserve the wrath of God but Jesus in His mercy took the punishment in our place. If we do not teach these truths, neither children nor adults will understand why we need Jesus. Other truths that must be taught include the reality that we can’t earn our salvation by being good but instead we are saved by God’s grace: a gift that we do not deserve.

Our lives are changed radically when we receive the Holy Spirit, God, who lives in us when we repent of our sins, confess that Jesus is Lord and start to follow Him. Our words, thoughts and actions will show that Christ is our Lord but they can never be the reason that we can go to Heaven. Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross is our reason and His resurrection is the proof that our hope is not in vain.

I remember attending a church when we had just arrived in the US when our kids were 4, 6 and 8. They obviously believed that children should understand these important principles of Christianity but they taught large chunks of the book of Romans to young children in a way that they struggled to understand. The approach must be age appropriate and this was not!

I was teaching teenage girls this summer and wanted them to understand the reality of sin and the need for forgiveness. I made a game, writing questions on cards and Bible verses on different cards. The goal was to find the answers from verses from Romans that I had pre-selected. Of course, ultimately we want everyone to be able to discover these truths from the Blble, but the teacher needs to make it relatively easy to understand the main ideas when working with young people. The tendency is either to avoid teaching anything difficult or inundating the youth with material that is over their heads.

In general, our expectations of young people, regarding their ability to understand and learn from the Bible, can be rather low. If a teenager is doing a number of high level classes at high school we should assume that he is capable of learning the Bible at a similar level. Parents are ultimately responsible for the Christian education that their children receive. The challenge is to study the Bible ourselves so that we can encourage our kids. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 reminds us why the Bible is more valuable than any other book. It is unique and deserves our focused attention. The Amplified Bible explains that “Every Scripture is God breathed (given by His inspiration) and profitable for instruction, for reproof and conviction of sin, for correction of error and discipline in obedience, (and) for training in righteousness (in holy living, in conformity to God’s will in thought, purpose and action.) So that the man of God may be complete and proficient, well fitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work.” This means that the Scriptures clearly show God’s standards and expectations for man. I am so thankful that God has made His will clear and, like a bad child, I know that I can come back to Him whenever I go against His will because He will always forgive me. Without this standard I would be lost and I would not know right from wrong.

As a parent, teacher, or anyone seeking to follow Jesus, we are well advised to read the Bible regularly, recognizing that it is God’s Word. It is not an ancient, outdated commentary; rather it is “living and powerful” (Hebrews 4:12) and Jesus, when tempted by Satan, quotes a passage in Deuteronomy saying, ” It is written , ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4) If we base our lives on God’s Word we will be much better off than struggling to satisfy the ever changing and confusing standards of the world. The Bible is even more important than food. We can’t live a fulfilled life without it. All of us at some time in our lives take on the role of teacher when we explain a concept to someone. When we are handling the Word of God, let’s make sure that we do not pull verses out of context but rather present our friends or children with an accurate picture of who God is and how He wants to change us.

Christian women respond: teach the Bible accurately and encourage other women to trust Jesus.

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Teaching the Bible

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Vote YES on Prop 8

Already teachers in California are expected to teach about marriage:

California Education Code 51890 allows a teacher to teach ‘marriage,’ which now means homosexual ‘marriage.’ A portion of the Code states:

a)…all educational programs offered in kindergarten and grades 1 to 12, inclusive, in the public school system, including in-class and out-of-class activities designed to ensure that:

(1) Pupils will receive instruction to aid them in making decisions in matters of …family… health, to include the following subjects:

(D)…marriage and parenthood.

Unless we support Proposition 8, our children in California will be taught that homosexuality is right and good from kindergarten up, in the public schools. One might imagine that parents could opt their children out of such instruction if it conflicts with their religious views. Experience in Massachusetts, where homosexual marriage is already law, suggests that this will not be possible.

David Parker, the father of a kindergarten kid, insisted that his son should not be taught about homosexuality. The result was that he went to jail. Please watch this video to find out more about this:Opposing Proposition 8 will not result in more freedom. In fact it would result in many kids being taught a form of sexuality that many parents do not believe is healthy or right. It would restrict parental freedom.

See the video here.

The Bible clearly teaches that homosexuality is wrong. In first Corinthians 6:9 Paul writes: “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of Heaven.”

In the same way that we would not want teachers to encourage our kids to steal, or get drunk neither should we want them to teach our kids to view homosexuality as a normal, valid life choice. Certainly we should not hate homosexuals, we should care about them and love them. This does not mean that we should change God’s Law to accommodate their behavior. I would like to encourage you to respond by voting YES on Proposition 8.

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Proposition 8

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As a teenager I helped at a side show at the village horticultural show. My brother and I were in charge of “club the rat”. There was a long piece of pipe and we pushed the toy rat down the pipe and our customers paid to try and hit the rat. We were rather devious as we showed them the speed that it would travel and then for the real “go” pushed it much faster. Those who clubbed the rat won a prize but there were few winners! We knew many of the local people helping with the side shows and they were of all different ages and came from the local villages which are small and hundreds of years old. As a child I loved to enter paintings and animals made out of vegetables in the age appropriate contests, and the anticipation of arriving at the show and wondering whether I had won a prize was tremendous! The emphasis at the Monk Sherborne horticultural show was to display locally grown flowers and vegetables but I liked the other options for children. These occasions were wonderful community events when we all participated together. The horticultural show was held in a beautiful English country garden with large lawns with many different flowers and shrubs. Of course afternoon tea and cake were served and my mother, as well as many of the other mothers and grandmothers, made cakes for this event.

When our children, Tom, James and Alice, were young we went to the horticultural show as we lived in Kent, about an hour and a half’s drive from Monk Sherborne where my family home remained. They also appreciated the little competitions and watching their grandfather washing potatoes and later being awarded the first prize. For the kids, receiving rosettes was more rewarding than the small amount of prize money as the rosettes were very visible!

What was the significance of all of this? Certainly happy memories are valuable, but I think there was much value in working together, with family members but also with the wider community. We did not have to be excellent artists or gardeners to compete, but we were encouraged to try something different at least once a year. Although the competition was very limited we also learned to lose. This was much more humaine than at school when our exam results were read aloud for everyone to hear. This was a gentler part of British life.

Life now seems more compartmentalized, at least where we live in California. At middle school the kids have a limited choice of electives. If you choose band you cannot do art, drama, or learn a foreign language. My niece and nephew, at the middle school equivalent in England, have the opportunity to do drama, art, music, a foreign language or two and sewing; all at once. Of course they also study the core academic subjects. They are prepared to have a go at many different things, while our kids are expected to be specialists. My concern is that specialists do not have the mindset that they can try anything. They tend to focus totally on one activity once they get to high school: sport or band or drama….The standard is excellent but the danger is that some grow tired of the intensity. They also do not have time to integrate with the wider community. There is no time.

I want to add a spiritual perspective too. Are we so conditioned, at least in San Diego, to be specialists that we will not risk doing something beyond our comfort zone? Are our expectations so high that we make it difficult for others to volunteer? Is the music group at church just for the very best, or do the decorations at the vacation Bible School have to be done solely by the art experts? I think that there is a real danger of excluding those who desperately need to be involved. Are we unintentionally making it impossible for many to use the gifts that God has given them? I do not mean that everyone should preach or play music, but we need to train and encourage those who seem to be showing a specific interest or aptitude, to use their gifts. It really is essential that everyone in the church is involved and that they are not put off by perfectionists. They need to help out and have a go.

What if you are not a Christian? I hope that you are not so busy with either your kids’ activities or your own particular focus that you fail to question what this life is all about. Please do not avoid talking to Christians because you do not feel that you are a specialist. Instead dare to walk into something different and ask questions. Ask a question on this blog and understand that many others have the same thoughts. Let’s make time to be a multi-age community and to broaden our perspectives. In this all or nothing society many have had absolutely no exposure to Christianity and the Bible. In the multi subject curriculum that was offered when I was at school I at least learned something about Jesus. In the States there are the Christian schools that make Jesus a speciality and the public schools where mentioning his name is controversial. In my opinion we should smudge the line of division and at least enter the debate. Jesus in Matthew 7:7 encourages us to “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Start seeking the truth, have a look at God’s Word and ask questions. You will not be disappointed!

This is a post from: WomenRespond.com

A village community event

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It seems that teenage and younger children’s disrespect towards adults has become more of a nightmare since the sixties when freedom of expression became a dominant force. Compared to many teenagers my kids are good yet behind closed doors there is still a questioning of “why should we?” and teenage rights is definitely a popular subject in our house. At least when the defiance is at home it is possible for the parents to address the problem. I have heard of other kids who are sweet and kind at home and apparently compliant but they are quietly doing drugs and into all sorts of trouble when they go out. Their lives are deceitful, whereas we see the worst when we are with them: in the evening when they are tired, there is homework to do and dishes to put away… The effort of being good throughout the day must be exhausting but wouldn’t it be nice if our kids had a good attitude all the time?

As I mentioned in an earlier blog all of us are by nature prone to do what is wrong and consequently bad behavior should not be surprising. There has never been a time when kids have been perfect, yet in my opinion it is not a coincidence that drug use, teenage pregnancy and abortion, rape and violent crime have all gone up since the early sixties. Before the sixties, kids were taught the Bible in American schools and the majority of families went to church. There was a consistent message and God was the one who set the standard: the ten commandments, love your neighbor, marriage for life etc. Of course there was some hypocrisy and legalism, but the standard was clear and it was easier to know what was expected.

Now when parents teach godly, Biblical values we are standing against the norm. With multiple electronic options it is easier to let our kids do their own thing, watch and listen to what they want, chatting online to goodness knows who. The temptation is to allow them to disappear into their world where at least they are quiet: being absorbed by the TV / Facebook/ Internet / iPod /cell phone. The party kid who is always out or is planning her escape on the computer or cell phone, is the other extreme. Although our kids, who are still at home, can be loud and at times confrontational, they enjoy spending time with us and they generally dislike their bedrooms partly because they are so untidy.. The saxaphone is shared with us and homework is often visible. Their lives intermingle with ours and we do function as a family which allows us to comment on the good and the bad, so they understand our opinion. Martyn and I try to ensure that our opinion is aligned with the Word of God, so that when we comment we are expressing a Biblical perspective. Family life is messier than what I had planned and noisier but at least we are together.

It is important that we make an effort to be part of our kids’ lives. They also need to be part of our lives.

There is something wrong with a society that expects parents to watch all of their kids’ games but the kids are not required to go on a hike with their parents or be helpful.

Alice & James

Unless we are careful, the kids become like little gods and we pander to their needs because they are so exhausted by all their activities as well as lots of homework. We fear that one more expectation will cause an angry retort. Somehow in the midst of this overactivity and distraction parents should endeavor to establish godly standards. Ultimately our relationships with our children are more valuable than sports or electronic devices. Our influence is valuable and calling out to Jesus, we need to seek his help to get the right balance, to know when to draw the line and when to arrange for a power outage! There are times when we must confront, and at other times we should encourage. Pray for wisdom.

The Bible reminds us that one of the ten commandments (Exodus 20:12) is that children must honor their parents: “Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” It seems that long life was a result of obeying this commandment. This commandment still applies and our kids will have much better lives if they honor and obey their parents. Let’s expect this of our kids and encourage children to treat both parents with respect and thankfulness. We should avoid undermining the other parent and make it a priority to encourage the right attitude in our kids. It is just as well that God is merciful and He will help us. Keep praying!

This is a post from: WomenRespond.com

Coping with kids

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