At a wedding recently I was struck by the joy and the excitement of the bride and the bridegroom. The pair had not been living together, they are both Christians and this was the beginning of a wonderful life together. The Bible compares Jesus’s love for His Christian children with the love of a married couple.

Jesus is our Bridegroom, is the Church a Responsive Bride?

In Ephesians 5: 31 Paul writes: “As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.”  Jesus calls us to an intimate love, which resembles the love between man and wife in a loving relationship.

Jesus does not want us to share the love that is intended for Him with others. Like a husband he deserves the bride’s focused attention. He is rightfully jealous of our love for Him, knowing that if we stray away from Him our lives will be wrecked like the aftermath of a divorce.

Who do we Worship- Jesus or People?

We are aware that our love for Jesus is prone to falter. Perhaps we prefer the thrill of materialism when we are admired for looking good in our latest purchase. Do we prioritize the attention of those who flatter us with effusive words because we can actually see our human admirers?

We need to re-focus. Our human admirers will grow old and die. I have just been looking at a book about Ronald and Nancy Reagan : “Entertaining At The White House”.  They were beautifully dressed in a glamorous setting. Ronald Reagan was an effective president but suffered years with alzheimer’s followed by an unremarkable death. Nancy is now a wizened old lady. Even Princess Diana who featured in the book, as a radiant star, is no more than a pretty memory.

In their heyday we would have been tempted to join the crowds to shake President Reagan’s hand in preference to sitting at the feet of the King of Kings, praising Him through prayer and worship.  Thousands of admirers arrived in London to pay tribute to Princess Diana. Watching this spectacle on television, it seemed that the crowds were worshiping her more than remembering her life respectfully. If only they would pay the same attention to their Savior and Maker.

Is Jesus is Your Bridegroom?

One day we will see our true hero: Jesus. He will be radiant and the light of Heaven will shine from Him. The sun will be obsolete. Whether we will be in Heaven as the bride of Christ, to celebrate the ultimate wedding feast, will depend on whether we have faithfully put our hope in our wonderful “bridegroom” while on earth. Adulating human heroes will provide no lasting benefit.

In Isaiah 62:4, we are told ….”as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.” What an honor!  Let’s receive God’s love with a thankful heart and let’s respond to His love with a fervent, joyful commitment. This should be a love that is characterized by godly self sacrifice, dominating our hearts, souls, minds and strength, overflowing to impact all  other relationships and culminating in  an even greater depth of  joy in Heaven. Only God can supply such love.

If you haven’t yet experienced His love, ask Jesus to wrap you in His arms and keep seeking  Him fervently. He will not disappoint you.

This is a post from: WomenRespond.com

Jesus is the Bridegroom and the Church is His Bride

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The home that I grew up in was a place of vibrant discussion and opinion, and we enjoyed the debate. Although we tried to disagree, our culture was the same and our thoughts were more united than we liked to admit! Now that I am living in California, I have gradually merged my British views and culture with an American mindset. I am the one who has changed the most and we agree on less than we used to.

I have moved continents and may have changed more than many other women of my age. However, anyone who has changed location, or become a wife and mother is in a different relationship with parents than when she was a child growing up. Rather than airing personal reflections on this challenge, it is more valuable to consider a few wise words from the Bible on this subject.

In Genesis 2: 24 we are taught that marriage between a man and a woman requires the couple to leave their parents and to join together as one: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and become one flesh.”

The words “leave” and “join” are significant. Leaving the protection and culture of the family nest can be hard, especially for the woman who values love and security. Adjusting to being married requires huge adjustments in roles and priorities, and refusing to emotionally or physically leave the parents can threaten the marriage. When we are married we are different from before. We must embrace the inevitable changes and join together with our husband to form a new family unit.

Does this changed relationship mean that we can disassociate from our parents? Not at all. The ten commandments teach us to honor our parents. Children are expected to obey their parents but this no longer applies to adult children. Marriage results in the woman being under the authority and protection of her husband rather than her parents, but the special honor that we should show our parents should continue to characterize our lives.

Sadly honor is a word that is rarely used today. It combines love, respect, looking up to, valuing highly….  In our culture there is little evidence of honor unless we count idolizing the rich and famous. Honoring parents should not depend on their status, political views, or health. It should not depend on whether we agree with them. It is a response of thankfulness and love. For some grown up “kids” honoring parents must be a difficult challenge if they grew up in dangerous and threatening homes. Only Jesus can create a forgiving and honoring response to parents who inflicted pain on their kids through neglect or abuse as they grew up.

My parents gave me love, security and fun. They invested hugely in my life. I am very thankful. The intense times of re-uniting from half way round the globe are no excuse. My role is to honor, to serve, to bless and to respect. I do not have to obey or to surrender to their opinions but I need to listen to them, to learn and to value them rather than to proudly defend my rights.  I do not have to prove my worth or win an argument. I should not sulk or withdraw.

In my family, we all follow the same God. Jesus is the one who can change the heart of the overgrown child to reflect His love and peace. If you are tempted to dishonor or to withdraw from relatives this Christmas, please learn from my mistakes and let Jesus transform your heart and tongue. I enjoyed spending time with my parents, but if I had responded to the words that I have written here, it would have been even better.

This is a post from: WomenRespond.com

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If you have not seen the movie please go, if it is still showing at a movie theater where you live. Bring friends and family. It is ideal for anyone who is 13 and above, although some younger girls might also appreciate it.

The message reminds us that Jesus wants us to offer love rather than passive indifference or resentment. Love is an action and we can’t wait for our husband, child or friend to be pleasant before behaving in a godly manner. If Jesus is our Lord we have His power and His help to love unconditionally. “Fireproof” shows that with Jesus, true love is possible.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are times when the quality of our relationships are tested, especially when we are worried about finances or job security. Rather than focusing on others’ attitudes to us, let’s offer Jesus’ love without expecting anything back. In Ephesians 4:17-the end of the chapter and Ephesians 5 there are many examples of putting off the old sinful nature and putting on Christ. My challenge to you is to read these verses and apply them. If we are Christians, we are not living as we ought if we hang on to sin. We need to repent of any behavior that is ungodly but typical of our lives. Don’t simply remove it, but replace it with the godly alternative.

Ephesians 4: 21 exhorts: “Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from Him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life , which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature created to be like God- truly righteous and holy.”

We could develop a forty day challenge for ourselves, covering the period from Thanksgiving until the new year. Each day, I suggest we focus on a behavior that we must stop doing, repent of it and replace it with its godly replacement. The process should be cumulative. We should not forget about Biblical lessons that we have already learned, as we learn new ones. The challenge is to keep all aspects of godly behavior going …………! We can’t do this in our own strength. We must abide in Jesus, receiving the love and the stamina to persevere from the Holy Spirit.

The first challenge is in Ephesians 4:25 is “stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth…” I need to pray about this. When am I withholding truth? When am I agreeing with lies to keep people happy? How can I tell truth in a gentle, loving way? The second challenge is about anger in verses 26-27. I will let you work out what you need to “put off”regarding this and what godly behavior to replace it with.

I believe that as we apply the Bible to our lives, we will be changed. How else can we love our husbands, relatives or friends? We need God’s help but we also need to persevere. The movie “Fireproof” demonstrated changed lives. God encourages us to improve our relationships too. He wants to transform our lives and as we become more like Him, we will be much easier for others to love! We may even find that they change too, especially if they seek Jesus’ help.

This is a post from: WomenRespond.com

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Lou Engel conceived the idea of having a focus on corporate prayer and fasting in key cities, a number of years ago. Many Christians were present and they came and went through the day as it lasted for 12 hours. The atmosphere was one of wholehearted focus on God. Martyn commented afterwards that a half hearted response to Jesus was not acceptable. Being part of such a gathering provoked us to want lives that are more fully given over to Jesus. A nineteen year old girl who spoke had consecrated her life to Jesus at a similar prayer gathering 7 years ago. She gave her teenage years to Christ and her words radiated passion for Jesus. I am considered passionate but this girl shook and quivered with the pulse of Jesus. This reminded me that we will reap what we sow. She had given up the “rights” that teenagers expect but God had blessed her mightily. Let’s remember that Jesus gives us so much more than we can ever give. We will not miss out if we focus our lives on pleasing Him.

Prayer focused on Prop 8 and marriage, and also on abortion. James Dobson was one of the speakers and he reminded us how important marriage of one man to one woman is for the health of this nation. He canceled all his previous commitments to be there with his wife Shirley. His commitment to the prayer meeting was of great encouragement to us. My only concern was that more local Christians were not there. Understandably we all have busy lives but it would have been great to have seen the stadium as full as it is when the San Diego Chargers play football games there.

Repentance and prayer might not sound exciting, but they are way more significant than supporting a team or staying home to clean the house …… Football fans support their teams with a mighty clamor. The noise generated by a half empty stadium of Christians generated even more enthusiasm, cheering and worshiping than the football fans. As God is so much more significant than the defeat or victory of our local team, I was satisfied.

The most challenging aspect of our time at The Call was crying out to God regarding the death of fifty million unborn babies. We shouted “help, help” to Jesus. We definitely need His help to end an era of child sacrifice when it has become acceptable to sacrifice our babies for their mothers to maintain a certain lifestyle or reputation. It is not just the mothers who are at fault. If we know the truth about abortion and do nothing to warn girls in our churches, and do not offer financial help to those who cannot afford to provide for a baby, we are guilty too. If our silence and inaction lead to a death, how can we respond, except to cry out in pain and sorrow, seeking His forgiveness and mercy.

A Focus on the Family book: Answering The Call, Saving Innocent Lives, One Woman At A Time, by John Ensor (2003) is informative and Biblical. Ensor estimates that 250,000 evangelically oriented Christians are having abortions annually. Our churches must not be silent. The author explains that he was shocked in 1989 that fully 30% of the women in his own congregation had had abortions. He describes the day that they looked at abortion for the first time, “as the day God lanced a boil”. Ensor compares the responsibility of a Christian leader with that of a doctor: “A good doctor does not withhold the lance to spare the patient pain. Nor can good physicians of the human soul beg off examining the disease and discord now festering in 40 percent of the people in their own church. It is spiritual malpractice.”

John Ensor adds: “We must lance the boil of this guilt if we are going to produce true life and health. This is painful and difficult, but it is also purifying. And it is our duty. The biggest mistake we are making in our local churches today regarding abortion is rightly sensing its destructive power but then remaining silent to spare people hurt. Some tears are medicinal. This is a case, I assure you, where godly sorrow is cleansing.”

Paul explains that godly sorrow leads to repentance and ultimately to concern and to readiness to see justice done. Please read 2 Corinthians 7: 7-9 which describes how Paul wrote a challenging letter to the people in Corinth which caused hurt for a little while but led to repentance and to godly lives- well worth the temporary pain. Paul continues: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done.” (2 Corinthians 7: 10-12)

At The Call we were reminded that America is guilty of the blood of 50 million babies. (Other countries are equally guilty.) Are we ready to bring truth into our churches which will lead to healing? Are we ready to repent? Are we prepared to stand up to protect marriage between one man and one woman, whatever present or future laws dictate? We are God’s people and we are called to consecrate ourselves to Him. Are we ready to move beyond a faith that tends to be half hearted, to embrace and declare the real Jesus on His terms? When we humbly repent and pray, God will respond by forgiving our sin and healing our land. Let’s live life His way.

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Tom’s future dreams, which will no doubt change in a few weeks, are influenced by a few days of past happiness. It is easy to make decisions based on similar experiences. A friend of my parents was also in love with Wales. He probably also experienced idyllic summer holidays and he determined that his wife and children would move to a beautiful remote location in Wales. He was unable to be there for much of the time as he was working in London during the week. He joined them in this supposed paradise for the weekends. I met the wife and kids once when they lived near my family in Hampshire, in the south of England, prior to their move to Wales. I don’t remember her name, but the mother was very sociable and a people person like myself. At the time I was a student, training to be a teacher and she asked me to read some Bible stories to her young kids, the one time that I met her: perhaps I had mentioned my new found Christian faith to her. I remember reading the children’s Bible to her lovely, young sons in her garden which was pretty and typically English: roses and a very green lawn thanks to plenty of rain.

My mother continued to mention this family occasionally. They moved to Wales but their lifestyle was not the buzz of extended family, games and nice weather that are typical of a week’s summer vacation. The loneliness was intense and the last I heard was the terrible news that the bubbly, friendly wife and mother had committed suicide. The beautiful countryside was not enough.

Today when I was speaking with Tom I advised him always to prayerfully consider what direction he should take in life. It is easy to run after dreams and to pursue a fantasy that can end in disaster. I assured Tom that heaven would be perfect but until then it is important to pray and to seek Jesus’ lead. I suggested that he should do something worthwhile and that he should not limit his decisions to a certain location or pay package. Of course we need to earn money but it should not be the main determiner of what we do and neither should the beauty of the location be the deciding factor.

Proverbs 3:5-6 offers words of wisdom: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” As humans we are easily influenced by experiences that are foolish. It is not only teenagers contemplating their future who need to seek God’s path. We all need His guidance. We are inclined to follow our hearts but the Bible warns us that our hearts can’t be trusted: “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)

The verses preceding verse 9 in this chapter in the book of Jeremiah illustrate the difference between the man or woman who trusts God and those who trust man for direction. I suggest that you read Jeremiah chapter 17 verses 5-9. The one depending on man’s guidance will be “like a bush in the wastelands”, whereas the person who trusts in the Lord is in a much safer place: “He will will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

If we seek God’s direction for our lives through prayer, Bible study and speaking with Christians who are mature in their faith, we will be shown the right path. This might not look picturesque and it might not be very profitable, but if it is God’s will, it will be a place where we will “bear fruit” for we will be relying on Jesus. He will satisfy us even if life is hard. The woman I met briefly was “like a bush in the wastelands” as her husband followed his heart. I feel certain that he did not seek God’s direction or seek the opinion of his wife. May this sad situation remind us to seek Jesus’ wisdom rather than following our hearts. Our hearts are deceitful.

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Lust is a sensual response to another person. In fairy stories such as “Cinderella”,

Cinderella - lust or love?

the prince “falls in love” with a girl who had been recently transformed by her fairy godmother. She was no longer the poor, abused stepdaughter, but rather a well dressed princess. How easy it is to be attracted to someone who appears to be well off, accomplished and beautiful. However, appearance is skin deep and we should warn our teenagers as well as our friends that “falling in love” is often no more than a fatal attraction.

Fairy tales usually have happy endings but if people in the real world assume that attraction equals love, they are in danger of committing themselves to a beautiful witch. The book of Proverbs in the Bible makes the point graphically in chapter 11 verse 22: “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”

The book of Proverbs highlights the most valuable quality of a woman: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30) The word “fears” in this context means someone who takes God seriously, obeying His commands and worshiping Him with reverence.

It seems that most of the warnings regarding falling for beauty rather than judging character and faith is directed at young men. Men are in general more likely to focus on the physical and sexual than women and they need to be warned in particular. However, increasingly, it appears that many modern girls are also motivated to get into a physical relationship with the man of their dreams before they have considered marriage or even a solid friendship.

God’s Word shows the right way of living for everyone, but obeying it is only fully possible if we seek His help. The Amplified translation of the Bible helps us understand God’s will on this matter: “For this is the will of God, that you should be consecrated (separated and set apart for pure and holy living): that you should abstain and shrink from all sexual vice, that each one of you should know how to possess (control, manage) his own body in consecration (purity, separated from things profane) and honor, Not (to be used) in the passion of lust like the heathen, who are ignorant of the true God and have no knowledge of His will.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)

Sexual purity is an important aspect of being a Christian. A true Christian is different from those who do not follow Christ and we must be self disciplined and godly in the way that we view our own and others’ bodies. We are called to be pure and honorable. Passionate lust is not the right motivation for any behavior and sex should be restricted to marriage. Sexual purity applies not just to sexual intercourse but to any act that is passionate or lustful. Even engaged couples need to avoid situations when they would be tempted to engage in premature sexual activity of any kind.

Does God tell us to remain pure because He is a kill joy? He warns us to avoid a lust driven lifestyle because the consequences cause so much damage, to our lives as well as others’, to our Christian witness and to our relationship with Christ. Controlling our bodies and our passions throughout life will bring tremendous blessing. If you have failed to live a sexually pure life, Jesus will forgive you if you approach Him in a humble and repentant manner. He can give you the power to change. Find a mature Christian who can help you and pray and read the Bible daily.

If Jesus is our focus, the joy we will receive from honoring Him and others is far superior to fulfilling the fantasies of minds that focus on the body in a lustful way. If we worship Jesus we should have the right attitude to others, offering what is good and kind and pure and self-controlled. This is love. In some cases when a man and a woman have tested one another’s Christian character, while offering appropriate Christ like love and compassion as friends, they may choose to marry, entering a life long commitment. Then they will be ready to share the gift of sexual intimacy which in the context of marriage is an important aspect of love, binding the two into one unit which no one should separate.

This is a post from: WomenRespond.com

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Vote YES on Prop 8

Already teachers in California are expected to teach about marriage:

California Education Code 51890 allows a teacher to teach ‘marriage,’ which now means homosexual ‘marriage.’ A portion of the Code states:

a)…all educational programs offered in kindergarten and grades 1 to 12, inclusive, in the public school system, including in-class and out-of-class activities designed to ensure that:

(1) Pupils will receive instruction to aid them in making decisions in matters of …family… health, to include the following subjects:

(D)…marriage and parenthood.

Unless we support Proposition 8, our children in California will be taught that homosexuality is right and good from kindergarten up, in the public schools. One might imagine that parents could opt their children out of such instruction if it conflicts with their religious views. Experience in Massachusetts, where homosexual marriage is already law, suggests that this will not be possible.

David Parker, the father of a kindergarten kid, insisted that his son should not be taught about homosexuality. The result was that he went to jail. Please watch this video to find out more about this:Opposing Proposition 8 will not result in more freedom. In fact it would result in many kids being taught a form of sexuality that many parents do not believe is healthy or right. It would restrict parental freedom.

See the video here.

The Bible clearly teaches that homosexuality is wrong. In first Corinthians 6:9 Paul writes: “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of Heaven.”

In the same way that we would not want teachers to encourage our kids to steal, or get drunk neither should we want them to teach our kids to view homosexuality as a normal, valid life choice. Certainly we should not hate homosexuals, we should care about them and love them. This does not mean that we should change God’s Law to accommodate their behavior. I would like to encourage you to respond by voting YES on Proposition 8.

This is a post from: WomenRespond.com

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It is helpful to remember that despite popular assumption, everyone of us was born with the inclination to do what is wrong and that includes our children. The Bible makes this clear (Romans 3:23). Rather than being surprised we need to work out how to proceed when the inevitable happens.

One of the big challenges of being a parent is working with our husbands to come up with a system of rules and punishment that are consistent, clear and fair. I struggle with this and find that my kids sometimes exploit their parents’ failure to communicate. Once they have succeeded in dividing us they have won the battle. The confusion and division are not a good foundation for harmonious family life. Unity and love between parents and a desire to express their love to their kids through disciplining them is an essential platform and, in my opinion, this is only possible if we seek Jesus’ mercy and strength and the guidance provided in the Bible.

In the first book of the Bible, Genesis, chapter 1:24, it is established that “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.”

My wedding

In God’s eyes married couples are one unit, they are male and female (not two of one sex) and we need to function in unity although we have different roles. Divorce creates so much devastation as it is the total opposite of the “one flesh”. Jesus makes this point in Matthew 19 :6. He refers to the verse in Genesis and he says: “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” I know that for many divorce is a harsh reality that you would never have chosen. God will reach out to you in mercy and help you. For those of us who are married, hold onto the bond of marriage that God instituted. Do whatever you can to make it work and avoid temptation that could lead, down the road, to an adulterous relationship.

For those of us who are wives let us seek unity with our husbands through forgiveness, offering Christ like love and being submissive and responsive. We must not wait until our husbands are good enough or worthy of our love. We must love like Christ. In John 15:12, Jesus says: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” As Jesus sacrificed his life for sinful mankind that deserved nothing but punishment, we must similarly offer love to those who do not deserve it. This is how we should love everyone. For our kids to be raised in a stable home, we must seek to love their father, as well as loving them, in this self sacrificial way. I can only imagine the challenges of Siamese twins who are physically joined to one another. When we are married we are joined together in every respect. The physical is less important than the spiritual, but still important. Can you imagine Siamese twins arguing with one another. It would be terrible and we would encourage them to get on amicably to avoid a life of misery.

Similarly we need to encourage husbands and wives to love one another with the love of Jesus. This is by no means weak and sentimental: remember Jesus died for us. Loving in unity within marriage is the best way to handle the inevitable rudeness and rebellion that our kids will exhibit. Let’s encourage one another to work hard at making marriages work. If you are single, you can play an important role in persuading your married friends to persevere and to seek the love that transforms and to offer this unconditionally, offering it even when it is not reciprocated. Jesus will give you the love you need to give to others if you seek him. He is the one who will fill you up when you are empty. Don’t expect your children, your husband or other loved ones to take the place of Jesus. Rather love Jesus first so that you can love others with his love.

This is a post from: WomenRespond.com

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