Tom’s future dreams, which will no doubt change in a few weeks, are influenced by a few days of past happiness. It is easy to make decisions based on similar experiences. A friend of my parents was also in love with Wales. He probably also experienced idyllic summer holidays and he determined that his wife and children would move to a beautiful remote location in Wales. He was unable to be there for much of the time as he was working in London during the week. He joined them in this supposed paradise for the weekends. I met the wife and kids once when they lived near my family in Hampshire, in the south of England, prior to their move to Wales. I don’t remember her name, but the mother was very sociable and a people person like myself. At the time I was a student, training to be a teacher and she asked me to read some Bible stories to her young kids, the one time that I met her: perhaps I had mentioned my new found Christian faith to her. I remember reading the children’s Bible to her lovely, young sons in her garden which was pretty and typically English: roses and a very green lawn thanks to plenty of rain.

My mother continued to mention this family occasionally. They moved to Wales but their lifestyle was not the buzz of extended family, games and nice weather that are typical of a week’s summer vacation. The loneliness was intense and the last I heard was the terrible news that the bubbly, friendly wife and mother had committed suicide. The beautiful countryside was not enough.

Today when I was speaking with Tom I advised him always to prayerfully consider what direction he should take in life. It is easy to run after dreams and to pursue a fantasy that can end in disaster. I assured Tom that heaven would be perfect but until then it is important to pray and to seek Jesus’ lead. I suggested that he should do something worthwhile and that he should not limit his decisions to a certain location or pay package. Of course we need to earn money but it should not be the main determiner of what we do and neither should the beauty of the location be the deciding factor.

Proverbs 3:5-6 offers words of wisdom: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” As humans we are easily influenced by experiences that are foolish. It is not only teenagers contemplating their future who need to seek God’s path. We all need His guidance. We are inclined to follow our hearts but the Bible warns us that our hearts can’t be trusted: “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)

The verses preceding verse 9 in this chapter in the book of Jeremiah illustrate the difference between the man or woman who trusts God and those who trust man for direction. I suggest that you read Jeremiah chapter 17 verses 5-9. The one depending on man’s guidance will be “like a bush in the wastelands”, whereas the person who trusts in the Lord is in a much safer place: “He will will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

If we seek God’s direction for our lives through prayer, Bible study and speaking with Christians who are mature in their faith, we will be shown the right path. This might not look picturesque and it might not be very profitable, but if it is God’s will, it will be a place where we will “bear fruit” for we will be relying on Jesus. He will satisfy us even if life is hard. The woman I met briefly was “like a bush in the wastelands” as her husband followed his heart. I feel certain that he did not seek God’s direction or seek the opinion of his wife. May this sad situation remind us to seek Jesus’ wisdom rather than following our hearts. Our hearts are deceitful.

www.WomenRespond.com

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Guidance for the future

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In the parable of the sower (Matthew 13) there are many seedlings that do not reach maturity. They are more disappointing to the gardener than the small dry grapefruit because the seedlings never bore any fruit and the seeds that were taken by the birds were non starters. Fruit is not only delicious but it also has the capacity for more of the same plant to grow. The original seed, if it grows effectively, can produce multiple seed producing fruits and the result is wonderful.

In Matthew 13:23, Jesus explains that “the seed that fell on good soil represent those who truly hear and understand God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!” This is God’s will, and surely the goal of the church, that those who hear the good news about Jesus will understand the truth, and mature and multiply in the sense that they will help others to become productive children of God.

A Christian is not the smug, pew filler that I used to be. I was smug because I thought that I had done what was necessary by being in church, but I was no more than a seed on a hard piece of English stone floor, waiting to grow. There was so little truth to listen to and I did not understand that I needed to respond. Thankfully, Jesus put me in the equivalent of fertile soil when I went to college and arrived in a good church. The Bible was taught faithfully and as I listened I started to grow.

It seems that the hearer needs to be alert and listening and the message needs to be clear and true. It is so easy for all of us to be selective in our hearing. My children are adept at ignoring instructions to help but quick to hear any mention of food! The seeds that successfully reached maturity are like people who understand that without Jesus they are hopelessly lost. They hear and apply every one of His words to ensure that they grow up as God’s children rather than as a stunted, self absorbed seedling that shrivels up when in difficulty. The seed that becomes productive is like a true follower of Jesus who is not seeking his own comfort and pleasure but instead, like Jesus gives up his life. In John 12:24 Jesus says,”Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain.”

Many people want to have the reassurance of being connected to Jesus. They marvel that He rose from the dead and they believe that He has the power to successfully rescue us from the curse of death. They are right to trust Jesus but many are tempted to avoid the self sacrifice that we are called to. Unless we die to ourselves we remain a single seed, but God’s vision is for us to produce much grain. It is only when we focus on loving Jesus and others instead of ourselves that we truly start to do what pleases God. My other blog posts about the seeds discuss the reasons that they fail to reach maturity (and fulfillment). They are stunted because they are like people who are focused on themselves, put off by persecution, money and other worries.

Instead we should be focused on pleasing God. He can be trusted with our lives and He can handle our troubles. There is no time to focus on these personal distractions as Christians must join Jesus in far more important work than feeling sorry for ourselves. He wants us to join with others to reach out to “the lost”, to those who do not yet know how much He loves them. First we need to give up our lives to follow Him: “If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you cling to your life you will lose it but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.” When we give up trying to control things and trust God we are re-born as a new creation, a child of God with Jesus leading us. No wonder that we can now be productive, and bold, as Jesus is the one who through us can bring about a fantastic ‘harvest’. If we labor alone we will remain a single seed but when we die to our own ambitions we will belong to Christ and we will be producing much “grain”.

I was like a seed sitting immobile on hard stone. I was preoccupied with myself and I prioritized my pleasure and my success above spending time with God or helping others. Once I was placed in a church where I was taught the truth about Jesus, I started to change and by the time I was in my second year at college I was becoming more excited about helping others and teaching the Bible than pursuing my personal dreams. Now my desire was to please Jesus and this gave me fulfillment. I wanted others to grow into a relationship with Christ and I was eager to share the great news that God himself came to earth to die for you and me that we could be set free from the power of sin and death. I continue to share this message of great joy and I hope that others will become like seeds that are productive, bearing fruit and living abundant lives.

Christian women respond: Persevere and become spiritually mature. God’s harvest is beautiful and impacts the world.

www.WomenRespond.com

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The Harvest

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I can click my phone and see whether Tom is online. If there is a green circle with a tick or a check in it he has been using the internet recently and there is a possibility that he is in his room and will answer. A green circle with a moon suggests that he has been away from his computer for a while: it’s dormant. Of course as a mother, recently separated from her eldest son, I am interested to see the signs of life communicated by his computer. It’s very vague and it is possible that Tom has abandoned his sloppy high school study habits and is now able to study without being repeatedly distracted by the internet!

It struck me that my trying to work out what Tom is up to by clicking a button on my Skype phone is a bit like the way many people respond to God. They have a vague understanding of who He is and they make some efforts to find out about Him based on hearsay, a TV program or the occasional Bible verse that a well meaning friend or relative sends their way. Conclusions that are drawn from this sort of information are very sketchy and are often wrong.

I do not want to call my son too often as he may soon learn to resent the interference. Similarly, many people do not want to bother God. Perhaps they feel that their problems are too small or that He is too busy.

My concern is that many people’s understanding of God and Christianity is based on a few inaccurate assumptions. One of my purposes in writing this blog www.WomenRespond.com is to make it clear how Jesus can affect every part of life and how the Bible can show us so much about Him, giving us a clear picture of who He is and how He can help us.

When I was small we used to dream of having phones with pictures.

Talking to Tom on Skype

Tom’s phone has a built in video camera so when I actually get through to him I can see him as well as hear him. This is, of course much more gratifying than looking at the little green circle, indicating whether he is online or not!

It is also possible to have a clear picture of God too. He is not a strange old man who criticizes us as he watches from Heaven. Rather, He came to earth in human form as Jesus. Although we have no portraits of Him, we can read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John in the Bible and we can read eyewitness accounts about how He made the sick well, how He showed deep sorrow, weeping when his friend Lazarus died, even though Jesus was about to raise him to life. We can find out how Jesus showed compassion to a woman with a bad reputation and the way in which He spent time with those that others avoided. His teaching was not boring or politically correct: it was bold and radical. If it wasn’t for the fact that He returned from the dead three days after he had died, hanging on two pieces of wood, in the shape of a cross, we may have reason to forget Him. However, Christians for the last two thousand years have given their lives to Jesus. He proved by His words and actions that He really is God.

It is important that we move to the next level regarding our understanding of Jesus. A sketchy awareness of God is inadequate, in the same way that checking whether my son has been using the internet does not enhance our relationship! This morning Martyn and I wished Tom a happy 18th birthday on Skype and this was the next best thing to being with him. One day Jesus’s followers will be with Him in Heaven and this will be incredible. Until then, let’s draw close to Him through reading the Bible, meeting with Christians and through prayer.

There are times when a phone call is ended abruptly because one of the speakers is being unpleasant. It is typical of us to assume that we are generally right and if a conversation ends in this way we are inclined to blame the other person. When the relationship is with God and when the conversation is prayer, it is essential that we do not self righteously cling to our rights and justify ourselves. Reading the Bible helps us understand when we are proud or faithless or disobedient. We need to come before Jesus with humility asking Him to reveal to us where we need to change, yielding to His authority and asking Him to forgive us. If we do not come before Jesus with the right attitude, He warns us that He will end the conversation until we change. If we are experiencing a temporary distance in our relationship with Jesus, we must not blame Jesus, as unlike us He is incapable of wrongdoing. Instead we need to get right with Him. If you have never been close to Jesus, He is calling out to you to confess your sins and to believe in Him. He is like a wonderful, loving father who is ready to welcome His children home if we come on His terms rather than hanging on to our own agendas!

To finish, I will quote some Bible verses to show the consequences of a wrong attitude to Jesus as well as a right one. James 4:3 warns: “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” Another problem is illustrated in Isaiah 59:2 : “But your iniquities (bad thoughts, words and actions) have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.”

The great news is that “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14) The consequences of responding in the right way towards God will impact our land as well as our own lives. Let’s communicate with Jesus on His terms and receive His blessing!

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Attitudes towards God

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Tom & Sian outside Coulter House, University of Chicago

I had the opportunity to visit the college and to enjoy the green and leafy quads; and old buildings, at least by Californian standards. It reminded me of Cambridge and I was pleased that our son could experience such a wonderful college environment.

The students, at least at first glance, seemed academic, authentic and unpretentious. The dean, in his speech during the convocation in the Rockerfeller Chapel ceremony, encouraged me to believe that the goal was not to strive for political correctness but rather to understand opinion and different perspectives through academic inquiry.

The students join different houses where they live and eat. Tom is in Burton Judson which is old and attractive and the “house parents” of his house, Coulter, are grad students and they have a ten month year old. This adds a touch of real life to what is in danger of becoming a detached ivory tower. What is more, the “mother” did an M. Phil at Clare College, Cambridge and she loves books. She told Tom that his love of books meant that he would fit in well.

Mothers have the challenging job of raising kids so that one day they will be able to survive on their own. It seems ironic now that I struggled to leave my baby of a few weeks for a couple of hours with a friend. When Tom was six weeks old I joined a few mothers who had babies and toddlers. There was an eighteen month old “giant” who was shaking his mother’s keys somewhat violently. I felt that my tiny child might be attacked and I held him close.

At four years old Tom started school. I had been a kindergarten teacher in England before he was born and I was appalled to see the boring tasks that he was given to do. I had created games and exciting learning activities for other people’s kids and now I stood back and it hurt. In the evenings I tried to compensate, offering Tom art and teaching him to read the better way, but Tom was still stuck in a dull environment for a whole year. Whenever he was ill I was pleased to have him home with his younger brother and sister so that the nest was complete again.

How have I managed to let go now without too much pain, when in the early days I struggled so much? All those times when I had to let go, I was being pushed closer towards Jesus. I prayed more as I lost control. At the beginning I was meant to be Tom’s constant carer, but I still had to trust that God would protect him when I was not with him. Gradually as a child matures, he has to become more independent and finally, when he is ready to go, there is a sense that pulling him back would be like taping down a bird’s wings so that it could not fly. Martyn (my husband) and I have taught Tom the way to live life, relying on Jesus, through praying and reading the Bible. We have made mistakes and Tom has not always wanted to listen but our hope is that he has heard enough. Our prayers and words will continue to impact Tom’s life but now he will need to rely more on Jesus and his faith will become more of a personal reality.

Once we arrived in Chicago our roles reversed. Tom was in control of the maps and the timetables and he did well.

Chicago at night

His 6ft 1″ height and strong build were reassuring and I had to admit that he provided me with protection. It is only now that I feel ready to open my hands and to let him fly. My encouragement to parents, and to those who have opportunity to influence friends or relatives who have kids, is to trust Jesus, to pray, to model what is good and to “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) Training is very intentional. Do not just hope for the best but teach what is right and wrong from the Bible, through encouragement and discipline. You would not leave a child to simply walk past a piano if you wanted him to play well. Similarly we should not assume that our children will learn right from wrong without proper instruction. There seems to be so much time spent driving our kids to soccer or music lessons. These can be wonderful for our kids but nothing is more important than sharing God’s truth with them. Let’s go to a good church and let’s talk to our kids about sharing, sin, jealousy, forgiveness, sex, homosexuality, caring for the poor and so on ………. using the Bible to point us all in the right direction. It is never too late to start and if Jesus transforms your life in the process, kids, of any age, will be influenced positively.

May God bless you as you connect the hands of your kids with the almighty God.

This is a post from: WomenRespond.com

Letting go

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Karl Marx, German political economist, 1861

We studied various political thinkers including Marx and we read George Orwell’s “Nineteen Eighty Four”, wondering whether the Iron Curtain would become an even harsher barrier separating east from west. Europe seemed much smaller then, as most people living in the Eastern Bloc were virtual prisoners and could not join us to present their perspective. Our parents were children in Britain during World War Two and their memories also reminded us that the power of evil could impact us as it had impacted them. Although their gas masks looked like Mickey Mouse they were still a reminder that danger was a real possibility. Europe was not necessarily fine and there was much to discuss.

When we arrived in The States in 1999 we came at the end of an era. There was still the assumption here that the US was safe and far away from danger. Waitresses smiled continuously and there was a sense of satisfaction. There seemed to be an abundance of money: sufficient money to throw away on details. There was a sense that we could all fall in love with the present because it was good and we were happy. Vietnam was a bad memory but best swept aside as it should not spoil the fun of the present.

September 11th threw a hand grenade into much of that. It was a terrible day that reminded Americans that evil was a reality and that like Europe, America is not necessarily fine.

Our oldest son Tom is going to college for the first time this week. I hope that he will be challenged to think beyond the fun. Perhaps now there is more debate here about good and evil and while Islam seems to be more threatening than communism, it demands a response in the same way that the Iron Curtain provoked us to comment. September 11th can never be justified but the Bible teaches that God works for good in those who love him and I think that there is value in being challenged to question why. Without recognizing evil we cannot understand our need for a savior. This world is full of evil, full of examples of man hating man.

Jesus is God who came to Earth as a baby, at the first Christmas, to grow up to die for us to receive the punishment that we deserve, at the first Easter. My desire is that our son, Tom, will be in an environment, like I was, where students are prepared to push aside the Easter bunny and Santa Claus and consider how Jesus stands against evil with his love and hope. Instead of hiding behind fixed smiles, we also can consider the claims of Jesus and how he can help a hurting world, how Jesus can help us. Pursuing truth will offend but it is more purposeful than avoiding conflict by saying nothing. It is more purposeful than pretending that the Easter bunny has all the answers, smoothing over family difficulties by offering candy to maintain peace. This fictional interpretation of Easter contrasts hugely with what Jesus achieved on the first Easter when he shed his precious blood to offer peace to a people who deserve punishment.

As I travel to Chicago with Tom tomorrow I will be silent for a few days, Please use this time to scroll back to the beginning of this blog to see what I was like when I was also seventeen and starting college, and how God changed my life. Read some of the comments, including a current conversation investigating the meaning of life.

May God bless you.

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college is a place to ask why

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As a new Christian, I assumed that it was fine to have a boyfriend who was not a believer. None of the sermons had addressed this issue and I had not yet got to the relevant parts of Scripture that confronted this subject. I rationalized that because I did not sleep with my boyfriend, I was fine. I was in danger of being pulled in the wrong direction. I could have married someone who did not share what was becoming the dominant force in my life.

My concern is that there are many new Christians who do not understand that to follow Christ they need to let go of many aspects of their old lifestyle to adopt a much better life with Christ at the center. This is much more exciting and refreshing as it is only when we face up to the sin in our lives and ask Jesus to forgive us that we are truly able to enjoy living with him. We are aware that a cancerous tumor needs to be removed and the same is true of sin.

Sword

That is why we must apply the word of God to our lives rigorously. Seek a mature Christian who can help you understand Scripture and do not avoid the truth. Hebrews 4:12 explains that “the word of God is sharper than any double edged sword.” It penetrates deep, judging “the thoughts and attitudes of the heart”. In the same way that cancer needs to be removed to stop it destroying the body, sin also needs to be dealt with. Our relationship with Jesus is much more important than the health of our bodies.

My relationship with the non Christian boyfriend ended. Jesus intervened. Please ask Jesus what he needs to remove in your life. I assure you that you will not regret this prayer for we can’t hide from God (Hebrews 4:13) and ending a sinful habit draws us into his light and closer to Jesus.

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Like cancer, sin needs to be cut out

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I prayed frequently for my family. I had a wonderful family. We enjoyed spending time together and we were generally pleasant to each other. It is easy to assume that kind = Christian. Actually Christian= aware of how far from God we are and how only Jesus can forgive and free us from our wretched state. I like truth. Today this is an unfashionable word in an era when relativism is embraced, but in 1981 truth still meant something to me at least. I wanted my family to understand that holding onto church attendance as a substitute for a relationship with Jesus was not enough.

My brother and sister, Vaughan and Clare, are twins and two years younger than me. We were not placid but neither were we like angry dogs, at least not by the time we were 18 and 16!

Angry dog

My comments to them about not having the choice of sitting on the fence, regarding Jesus, were considered inflammatory. I emphasized that you were either fully for Jesus or against him: a bored observer is not a child of God. Vaughan and Clare were annoyed and my remarks threatened the peace that we had been enjoying on our vacation in France.

I have lived in the US for nine years and It seems that some Californians at least, and I am sure some British people too, prefer to keep the peace than explain a truth that can liberate someone from death to life. Without Jesus our spirits are dead and our future is hopeless. Jesus wants to interact with us, to breathe his life into us and for this to happen we must give up our control and our selfish wants. I was basically telling my brother and sister that they had got it wrong. The good news is that Jesus got it right and during that year they started to seek him as well and so did both of my parents. I saw no obvious encouragement during that vacation but God’s work was in motion. Today all of my family is wholeheartedly serving Jesus. Without understanding the challenging news, that we simply can never be good enough to please God, no one will understand the full magnificence of the good news that God came to earth to die in our place if we give our lives to him in faith. This is the only way to receive eternal life.

If you really want to give people what is best, tell them the truth. Avoiding conflict is not an excuse. We must not be guilty of withholding information to appear nice. Lives are at stake and those who discover the full riches of Christ will come back and thank you. Some may turn against you. I did not change Vaughan’s and Clare’s lives, Jesus did and it was Jesus who said : “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” If you are not yet a follower of Jesus, read the Bible and find out about him. If you are, gently but faithfully share the whole truth. This will help set people free.

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Avoid or Embrace Religious Conflict?

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