Living in the US is often a very positive experience. The waiters and waitresses are always friendly and shop assistants ask “Can I help you”. “Have a nice day” can be a little repetitive but it’s better than silence. I remember being shocked when I got off the plane at Heathrow airport and, in a half awake state, I went to the rest room to freshen up before meeting a friend in London. The woman cleaning the sinks snapped at me and I missed the words of welcome that I had come to expect. It was even worse in the non touristy part of Prague that still has many characteristics left over from the communist era. I was shouted at by a woman who was holding out toilet paper. Eventually I realized that I had to pay for this before entering the rest room!

What we say and how we say it makes an important first impression, and I certainly appreciate the pleasantries offered here. However, it is frustrating when people do not go beyond saying friendly but empty words. In both the US and the UK when people ask you “How are you” they generally expect you to say “I’m fine.” The reality is that everyone is not fine and a reluctance to hear or to tell the truth means that many people do not receive the practical help, the prayers, the challenge or the encouragement that they need. It is important that we have friends who we can trust and from whom we can seek advice and expect an honest answer. There are times when we need to stand up and say that something is wrong because avoiding conflict, for the sake of smiling relationships, can lead to trouble and pain in the future.

In our home I tend to fluctuate between turning a blind eye to issues or over reacting. Yesterday I felt that I needed to react as my kids were watching “The Office” and there was some vulgar humor which I did not want in our home. James explained that this was mild compared to some of the jokes that his friends shared, and how could he talk about “The Office” the next day at school if he could not watch it. He also added that his friends were much better than most of the other teenagers at high school. They seem great kids. They are interested in hearing Bible talks at our home every Friday, but I knew that I needed to challenge my son regarding God’s perspective. I am pleased that I persisted and talked to him about how being a Christian does affect humor, attitudes and our thoughts and words.

I have written in other blog posts about the importance of Christians teaching the Bible to their children. What I should add is that when a sweet, ‘little darling’ grows to become 6ft 4″ it is not always easy to sit him down for a Bible “story”. Instead there are moments that become important teaching opportunities. This is also true with friends.

As a Christian mother encouraging her children to follow Jesus, I wanted James to understand that we should not be preoccupied with fitting in to please our friends. If we are God’s children we must be different and speak what is good, and avoid listening or contributing to what is rude and distasteful. The WWJD or “What would Jesus do” wrist bands are of some value if they encourage the wearer to consider whether Jesus would approve or join in an activity.

It would help if I always knew exactly where to turn in the Bible to show God’s perspective. Yesterday I struggled to know where to turn but thankfully God took control and I turned to 1 Peter 4 and I read verses 1-11. Alice, my daughter, would have wriggled away but James knew that he needed to hear God’s word and he listened and then curled up and prayed.

I want to share the following verses that were particularly relevant to our discussion:

“So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer too.” (verse 1) In short, life is on a much deeper level for a Christian than pleasing ourselves, and it will involve suffering. Christ is our role model, (and our Savior) and we should seek to please him.

“You won’t spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God. You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy-their immorality and lust….” (verses 2-3 ) This is a call to be different, to put off the old sinful life and to be a new creation in Jesus.

‘”Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the wild and destructive things they do. So they slander you. But remember that they will have to face God, who will judge everyone, both the living and the dead.” (verses 4-5) Avoiding participating in vulgar jokes, and standing up for what is godly, will result in opposition but we must be more concerned about pleasing God. A changed life will show friends something about Jesus. Some will believe and change too, others will laugh at us.

The final verse that seemed so helpful was 1 Peter 4: 11: ” Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you.” James is aware that he has this gift and the challenge was appropriate. We can do a lot of damage with our words but we can choose to speak in a godly way and make a positive impact.

These verses are from the New Living Translation in a New Testament entitled “How to Find God” . The sub title is “Living Water for Those Who Thirst.” It is intended for new Christians or not yet Christians and the commentary can be helpful. This is what is written next to the verses in the first book of Peter that I read to James: ” One thing that should certainly change when we come to Christ is the way we talk. If we continue using God’s name in vain or keep telling dirty jokes, something is not right. Proverbs 8:13 says, “All who fear the Lord will hate evil.” That includes vulgar speech. But when we become indifferent to the way we speak (or the way others speak around us), we are downplaying the destructiveness of sin and doing a disservice to the Lord.” This added further insight and the timing was perfect!

God will give us the wisdom to know when we need to react, using His words. We must do this gently, but we must not avoid encouraging others to learn from God’s truth (especially our children). James is a good role model to his friends, but it is clear that Jesus wants him to go to the next level in his relationship with God and with others. We are not alone when we seek to help people learn God’s will by teaching the Bible. God cares more about our kids and our friends than we do. I hope that I have made it clear how Jesus showed me, an ordinary Christian mother, how to speak His words to my child. He will help you too as you encourage others to follow Him.

Related posts:

1. Biblical illiteracy This morning my husband Martyn went to a meeting to discuss how high schools can...
2. Preaching the Bible: Tickling Ears or Proclaiming Truth? This evening  I will be  one of five people at Pomerado Christian Church to meet...
3. A call to commit Yesterday evening, there was a celebration concert held at the local movie theater. It was...
4. The Devil blinds us from seeing the truth. Where I live in Southern California we try to grow grass in almost desert like...
5. Seek God’s protection I enjoy watching nature programs. They are usually much less offensive than many other TV...

 Email This Post