Have you seen the movie “Fireproof”? I was impressed with the strong message that marriage is worth protecting and working at. In the movie, a couple is struggling to communicate and the attitude of both the husband and wife is self absorbed and unforgiving. The wife plans to file for divorce and in desperation the husband listens to his father’s advice, which involves a forty day challenge to act well and to speak words of encouragement to his wife. The instructions are specific and the results are life changing.

If you have not seen the movie please go, if it is still showing at a movie theater where you live. Bring friends and family. It is ideal for anyone who is 13 and above, although some younger girls might also appreciate it.

The message reminds us that Jesus wants us to offer love rather than passive indifference or resentment. Love is an action and we can’t wait for our husband, child or friend to be pleasant before behaving in a godly manner. If Jesus is our Lord we have His power and His help to love unconditionally. “Fireproof” shows that with Jesus, true love is possible.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are times when the quality of our relationships are tested, especially when we are worried about finances or job security. Rather than focusing on others’ attitudes to us, let’s offer Jesus’ love without expecting anything back. In Ephesians 4:17-the end of the chapter and Ephesians 5 there are many examples of putting off the old sinful nature and putting on Christ. My challenge to you is to read these verses and apply them. If we are Christians, we are not living as we ought if we hang on to sin. We need to repent of any behavior that is ungodly but typical of our lives. Don’t simply remove it, but replace it with the godly alternative.

Ephesians 4: 21 exhorts: “Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from Him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life , which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature created to be like God- truly righteous and holy.”

We could develop a forty day challenge for ourselves, covering the period from Thanksgiving until the new year. Each day, I suggest we focus on a behavior that we must stop doing, repent of it and replace it with its godly replacement. The process should be cumulative. We should not forget about Biblical lessons that we have already learned, as we learn new ones. The challenge is to keep all aspects of godly behavior going …………! We can’t do this in our own strength. We must abide in Jesus, receiving the love and the stamina to persevere from the Holy Spirit.

The first challenge is in Ephesians 4:25 is “stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth…” I need to pray about this. When am I withholding truth? When am I agreeing with lies to keep people happy? How can I tell truth in a gentle, loving way? The second challenge is about anger in verses 26-27. I will let you work out what you need to “put off”regarding this and what godly behavior to replace it with.

I believe that as we apply the Bible to our lives, we will be changed. How else can we love our husbands, relatives or friends? We need God’s help but we also need to persevere. The movie “Fireproof” demonstrated changed lives. God encourages us to improve our relationships too. He wants to transform our lives and as we become more like Him, we will be much easier for others to love! We may even find that they change too, especially if they seek Jesus’ help.

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